The following accounts are just a couple of paragraphs from articles appearing in the EnCourage Trust Newsletter. For these complete articles and others, please contact EnCourage.

I think, as a homosexual man, what I crave most is to be accepted and respected for who I am. I don't want to live a lie and be forced to hide my true self behind a mask. Yes, I am attracted to other men and, yes, I want to be loved and cared for as a human being. Like other human beings, I have a longing for love and, of course, I have a duty to practise self-control and to live by a moral code. It isn't easy being homosexual in a heterosexual world. There is so much prejudice, insensitivity and hatred. We are sometimes made to feel not merely outcasts but completely unnatural. We have to listen to so much cruel and mindless name-calling. Much of this prejudice springs from ignorance and fear. Yet, in order to maintain our sanity it is necessary to accept ourselves and to arrive at an inner peace and serenity.

I have read quite a few of Henri Nouwen's books and what comes across most clearly is his craving for acceptance and his deep vulnerability. He was a deeply spiritual man but he was also a lonely man. He seemed to yearn for reassurance from people. There was a great deal of suffering and pain in his life. It was this very vulnerability which made him a great spiritual writer, one with whom most of us can identify.

I have always found that true, sincere friendships are a wonderful support in my moments of deep loneliness and pain. It is the most precious thing to be able to talk openly to a loyal friend when one is feeling low. It is also vital that that friend understands us and appreciates our struggles. When we are in pain we don't need stern lectures and shallow words of rebuke. We need compassion and loving concern and help. That is what a true friend is supposed to do.

I believe that God reveals Himself to us through our friends. He reaches out to us and touches our broken lives through the genuine love and compassion of our friends. We cannot live in isolation. We need other people who care for us in order to discover who we really are, to discover our true value and worth as human beings. Let us reach out to one another in genuine concern and deep friendship, and make a serious effort to make our journey a little more pleasant and meaningful. Let us help one another in true Christian solidarity.

St. John famously assures us in his first letter that God is Love.

" Thus we have come to know and believe in the love which God has for us. God is love; he who dwells in love is dwelling in God, and God in him. " (1 John 4:16 )

St. Paul attempts an analysis of love in his first letter to the Corinthians, chapter 13; not an easy assignment, but he points out that love is patient and kind, never boastful, jealous or offensive; not resentful or spiteful, but loving the truth. It can stand up to anything, and it will never end.

" 4: Love is patient and kind; it is never jealous; love is never boastful or conceited,
  5: it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offence, and is not resentful.
  6: Love takes no pleasure in the sins of others, but delights in the truth;
  7: it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.
  8: Love will never come to an end. "

When things are going badly for us, we may well feel that God no longer loves us, that he is no longer interested in us or even listening to us. We have all experienced these dark periods, and we know that they will pass. All the same, they are tough while they last, and the following short reflection may be helpful at such times.

If we consider the words of John and Paul together, we reach the glorious conclusion that if God is Love, and Love is all these wonderful things, then God is also all these wonderful things. Therefore we can say of God that:

He is patient and kind.
He is neither arrogant, boastful nor rude.
He is not envious.
He does not insist on getting His own way.
He is not irritable.
He takes no pleasure in wrongdoing but rejoices in the truth.
He will put up with anything, and there is no limit to His patience and forbearance.
His love is eternal.
And, best of all, this love is for each of us, personally and individually.